You know when you move someplace and you have trouble meeting people?
That was me.
It was about 2 months after I moved to Brooklyn that I decided I needed human contact.
I decided to start with a dating site.
Not because romance was the first thing on my mind, but I felt like it was the best way to meet like minded people.
The results I got after I made the page surprised me.
I guess something about “country mouse lonely and lost in the large cold city” was very attractive to some people.
Most of the messages I got were default greetings, pick up lines, and silly games like 20 questions to get to know each other.
After awhile though, I matched with a particular girl who stood out to me.
It had nothing to do with her looks, I don’t think she even said anything to me that was amazing.
The tone of the conversations were just… Very different from all the messages.
The content was the same, mostly, you know, the silly ‘getting to know each other’ games.
In a pace that made my head spin, we matched, we talked, and then we were meeting for salads.
It was my first date since college, so I was very nervous and felt out of practice.
But, I dressed my TGIF best, and headed for the cafe that Wednesday morning.
I walked in, standing awkwardly in the doorway, scanning for my date, not wanting to walk in the wrong direction or wanting to walk too deep in the cafe if I got stood up.
Eventually, I spotted her.
What I saw, surprised me.
She wasn’t one of those people who looked completely different from her profile pictures.
It’s just, you know, profile pictures don't give you the full story.
For one thing, she was tall.
About a head taller than everyone else in the cafe.
Her eyes were fierce and commanding, like traffic lights in the middle of the night.
When she saw me, she gave me the warmest smile, like I was her oldest friend, quickly walking over to me.
I smiled back, giving a small wave.
When we were only a few feet apart, she stared at me, seeming to hesitate on what her very first words to me in person would be.
After a few moments of silent staring, I came to the conclusion that I had to break the ice.
“How are you?” She asked, genuinely.
I responded generically, thinking how odd it was to not try and say hello in some form of way first.
She motioned over to a small table that had a well taken care of brown coat sitting on one of the chairs.
I sat down, noticing the lovely floor to ceiling window that framed the entire table.
Before I even had the fully thought out idea of starting small talk, she struck again.
“Do you want to split a drink?”
I was very taken aback.
Yes, this was a date, but not only was it bold to share a drink, but down right cheesy.
However, her clean appearance and friendly but polite presence made me croak out a “Sure.”
She waved over the waiter, and without even glancing for my opinion ordered a cherry cola.
“Huh.” I said out loud, not realizing I did before she stared at me.
“Oh uh…. That’s my favorite soda.”
She gave me a look that made me feel very bashful.
Not in the butterflies in the your stomach kind of way.
More like, when you are giving a present to a close friend, and you are are praying deep within your soul that they love it.
“Huh.” She teased back, smirking a little.
“Me too.”
We small talked for awhile about our experiences with the dating site until our soda came.
We put our straws in, hers confidently and gracefully, mine precise and calculated.
We both leaned in for a sip right after that.
I avoided eye contact, feeling my face get hot.
When she pulled away, I noticed she had a very lovely shade of lipstick on.
Pale orange, like a sunset.
Seeming to hug and fit on her lips like a sweater.
The waiter waited patiently as we finished our soda sips, asking what we wanted as our meal.
She allowed me the liberty of ordering on my own this time.
As the date progressed. Our small talked turned into getting to know each other.
Or… More I guess… Getting to know me.
She went from polite and and somewhat professional, to suddenly raining down a million questions on me.
What was my family like?
Favorite Animal?
Hair care routine?
Dream vacation spot?
Where did I see myself in 5 years?
I answered all of these questions to the best of my ability, realizing that she hasn’t touched her food once during this entire exchange.
She did take a few sips of soda however.
With each answer I gave, she seemed to calculate it carefully, like Anubis weighing hearts.
She had 3 reactions I noted.
One was a soft hum and nod.
Another was a raised eyebrow and narrowing of the eyes.
And the other was a frown and a head tilt.
Just when I thought I was caught in a never ending loop, she got up.
Her sudden actions, and the reminder of how tall she really was surprised me.
“Don’t you, have to go to work soon?” She asked, looking through her purse.
I glanced at my phone, being surprised again, but this time learning that two and half hours have passed.
I stood up, getting my own purse and coat together, calculating train times in my head.
“You can have the last sip, I got the bill.”
That brought me back to remembering where I was and what I was doing, nervousness and dread settling in the pit of my stomach.
I realized I learned nothing about her.
She did nothing but ask questions about me and I don’t recall asking one about her, not even a ‘How are you?’
I was pretty sure I blew this date and had no chance of salvaging it.
“W...Well… We will see each other again right? Trade numbers or something..?”
I felt like an asshole. Who would ask that after such an awful date? But it came out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
She finished putting on her coat before looking at me with a smile that filled me head to toe.
She walked over to me, close enough to notice that she smelled like holiday dinner from outside the house on a snowy day.
She grabbed both my hands tightly, staring dead in my eyes.
Her hands were surprisingly rough, with chipped pink nail polish on them.
A tight hold on my hand, eyes burrowing into mine, her breath on my lips, smiling ear to ear, she promised the country mouse,
“You are going to do just fine here.”
We both left the cafe without another word, my brain still trying to digest the words that she said.
However, Just like the color of her lipstick implied, she was gone like a sunset, leaving a sense of wonder and making you feel smaller but more humble.
She never got on her online profile again, the last message to her from me saying I would be there in 15.
I’m not mad, or upset or even disappointed.
To me, she was like an initiation into the city, a welcome parade, her words being a welcome package on my doorstep.
Nothing in this city has ever come close to making me feel that home here.
It’s been several years since that encounter, safe to say I’m a bit more confident and settled to where I belong here now.
That memory is still crystal clear however, like there is a rerun of it I catch on television every night.
However, and you can call this my mistrusting nature, but sometimes I feel like I don’t understand the situation as much as I think I do.
Like, the longer I sit on it, the more I remember it, I’m starting to double think…
Transcriptions by: 8BitCola21@gmail.com